Quotes

You seek my redemption, a fool's errand.

Then I must be the most foolish of them all because I won't stop looking, not now, not ever.

Why do you reach so far? Why can't you accept life as it is?

I reach because I know with effort it can be reached, that even the tallest trees must come to an end. To accept life as it is, that is simply ridiculous, because you know it can and will be more if you nuture it. That is what your redemption is, a tiny seed in need of nourishment. I will provide it, even if it kills me, you will not stop me, nothing will.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Nate...

"It's alright, Carrie." I say.
"You shouldn't comfort her. Comfort, Love they are for the weak." Nate says.
He leaves the room. I hold Carrie close to my chest. I rock gently back and forth.
It seems like several hours later, when Carrie falls asleep.
"Were is her room?" I ask Elias. He points to up stairs. I pick up Carrie and follow him to her room.
All of Carrie's walls are bare except for pictures of Elias, me, and Nate.  I smile.
I lay Carrie in her bed. Pulling the covers up to her chin. I kiss her head softly.
"Goodnight, Carrie. Sweet Dreams." I whisper.
I exit the room.
"What happened to him, Elias?" I say.
He stays silent.
"Elias, obviously something happened. Carrie just cried herself to sleep at the presence of her brother. What happened to all of you?"
"Follow me and I'll tell you everything." He says taking me by the hand. He leads me to a small room. It's his bedroom, I think.
I sit down on the bed.
"After you left to were ever you went. Nate began to change for the worst. He would keep to himself and pull away from me and Carrie. He would spend all of his time in his room. Then, he started to be more violent. He was constantly getting into fights." Elias says.
"Why when I left?" I ask.
"I believe it was because he missed you. He wanted attention from us and mostly you." He says.
He's in love with me, I think. It's not possible. Is it? I had known him for a long time. We did have a deep emotional bond that not a lot of people had. But love, I think that is a little extreme. Nate however was known for taking risks and exploring the unknown. Was it that impossible that he had chosen to fall in love with me? I guess not.
"Where did you go anyway?" Elias asks.
I begin to tell him great extravagant tales of my life. I told him about West Ville and Sonya. And the best part about Elias, is that he believed you no matter what. It made it easier. He just kept shaking his head and laughing. It made me laugh too. We had changed so much over the past 6 years, we were almost unrecognizable to each other. But sharing our memories with each other was like being reacquainted with the other. Stranger meeting stranger. It was beautiful.
Eventually, we forgot about Nate and the threat he posed to us. It was just us, nothing mattered. Almost nothing. The night was dawning on us and we were falling, falling into the night's peaceful arms. I was vaguely aware that Elias was next to me. All I wanted was to sleep. And in that moment I gave up on staying awake. I just began to dream. But, the dreams were not sweet and peaceful as they should have been, instead they were terrifying and gory. Grotesque and monotonous. They never seemed to end. I slipped into the satanic void fearing what laid ahead.

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